For his own good, you have to let your child be bored
Subscription to the ice rink, toboggan trips, walks in the forest... A few days before school resumes, you often run out of ideas to occupy your child until the end of the holidays. So much the better. Let's take the opportunity to let him get bored, an "activity" essential to his good development, according to professor emeritus of educational psychology Claire Leconte. Explanations.
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Lefigaro.fr/madam. - Busy school weeks, vacations with a tight schedule... Are today's children too busy? Claire Leconte. - We live in a society where you always have to be busy to prove that you are "on top". We can no longer afford to "waste time", and this is an idea that is instilled - sometimes unconsciously - in our children. For fear that they will get bored, we will enroll them in a multitude of activities and occupy them permanently, including with screens that act as nannies. Some parents buy themselves a certain peace in this way. This is something I realize every day. The last time I visited a nursery school, I asked the children present how many of them had a television in their room. Three-quarters responded positively, and I'm talking about children as young as five! Parents aren't the only ones to blame. From school, the little ones are stuffed with activities and are no longer used to having simple distractions, such as playing hopscotch or daydreaming.
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You rightly say that boredom is essential, especially for their proper development. That is to say ? You should know that at first, children build themselves by imitation. They reproduce the gestures they see, repeat the words they hear or the attitudes they perceive. Then gradually, the brain will develop by paying attention to the external environment. Above all, therefore, children should not be prevented from taking time for themselves so that they have time to observe the world around them. It is the proof of an internal life and above all, that the child can take an interest in things by himself, which is absolutely fundamental. The more attentive he is to his environment and to others, the more respectful he will be towards them.
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In practice, from what age should you let your child do nothing and how do you go about it? From an early age. The sooner he gets used to it, the better. A child who has got into the habit of being alone will always find a way to take care of himself, which is beneficial for him but also for his parents. If he is not used to it, his parents should discuss it with him beforehand. At first, they can sort out the activities he practices, and eliminate those that are imposed on him. Then, you have to take the time with him to observe the outside world, the garden, the flowers, and to discuss them. It is a reflex that he will eventually integrate. We must not forget that a child is not bored, it is his parents who are afraid that he will be bored. And if the child expresses it, it is because he knows that his parents are going to give him a screen to fill this “void”. If they make him understand that this moment is for him and that he can take it to reflect and daydream, then he will stop complaining.
Concretely, what are the benefits of boredom in children? We too often tend to think that it is a pejorative feeling, linked to weariness, to inaction. However, doing nothing is an activity in its own right! It is essential to take time for yourself, and this also applies to a child. This is an opportunity to put your imagination to work, otherwise it would be empty. These moments will also allow him to enrich his ability to observe, he will see things that others do not see, and as he grows up, he will develop a more sensitive perception. He will also be more attentive, and failing to do everything quickly, he will do things well. Finally, they need these times to rest and breathe. I observe more and more angry and tired children. A hyperactivity undoubtedly linked to the permanent solicitation in which they live.
What are the consequences of this solicitation? In this case, the child will never be able to take care of himself. Making a decision will be difficult, he will always need to be surrounded, he will find it very difficult to be alone. Moreover, a child who does not learn to think for himself - and to take the time for this reflection - will never ask himself the question of what he really likes to do. A child who has always been tossed between various activities will find it difficult to become fully involved in each of them. Even more so if he never had to question his true desires.
