Dating sites: how to end the cult of external beauty?

Dating sites are flourishing, especially in times of health crisis where restrictions and social distancing are synonymous with the loss of social ties. New apps offer a new way to approach dating. What if you too took the plunge by trying mystery encounters, even after the crisis?

The end of the cult of beauty

We lived in an era where the image became essential, sometimes to the detriment of the famous “being”. On dating apps, we first select the physical, depending on what attracts us personally in a person. Sometimes, even often, we realize that only the physique of the person meets our criteria. We thus tend to forget that, behind a photo, hides a story, an experience, passions but also insecurities. It is partly because of this that some virtual meetings can quickly turn sour.

So why are we so attached to the physical aspect, even if it means obsessing over it? Beauty has become a social asset, as it catches the eye at first sight. Some current beauty standards remain very entrenched, such as a slim waist for women or a square jaw for men. These prevent us from “looking elsewhere” and considering another form of attraction.

For some time now, some dating apps have been trying to broaden the selection criteria by introducing new modes of virtual dating. Indeed, with the multiplication of dating applications, it is sometimes difficult to find a reliable site but do not be discouraged, it is indeed possible to find a free and serious dating site, conducive to great stories! Today, we observe that there is a real desire to encourage the users of these applications to broaden their potential to make new conclusive encounters, whether friendly or romantic. And this also involves not prioritizing physical criteria, which are relegated to the background. You will find that this changes the way we look at a virtual exchange enormously!

Dating sites exclusively, or almost exclusively, based on the physical already exist: they often offer men and women to "match" or not in the space of a few seconds, on the basis of one or two photos.

But isn't this type of application outdated? In any case, there are alternatives, with the possibility of meeting people who are no longer based on looks or image, but on personality. No need to tuck in your belly, or hide a mole or an unwanted scar: what matters are the words exchanged, the passions, the hobbies...

By analogy, it's a bit like the difference between a book and a movie. In a film, the image is raw: we receive it, we analyze it and we store it in a box in our brain, judging it more or less positively. With a book, we imagine, we try to get an idea by creating a context: our imagination is stimulated by words, and not simply by the senses.

Profiles without photos: a new approach to dating

Thanks to the virtual meeting without photo, we widen the field of possibilities. Above all, we let what's inside do the talking. Our gaze, which can sometimes lead to hasty judgments, is not caught. On the other hand, it is important to know the personality of our interlocutor to make a mental image, which is why the profiles created on these dating applications without images or photos are very complete. If some have a little trouble opening up and talking about what they like to a stranger, this can be a very good exercise. You'll see that it's much easier to strike up a conversation with someone you "know" a bit, via their detailed profile, even if you've never seen them. It can even be very exciting: the suspense intensifies until you discover the face of your interlocutor.

So yes, not knowing the face of the person you are talking to is a little disconcerting, especially for the youngest who evolve in a world where the image is king. This can convey a lot of apprehension, and the fear of not "corresponding" to the image that the other has of us can slow down more than one. Don't worry, when we get to know a person without seeing them, we don't just create a single image in our head, that's precisely the strength and beauty of the imagination. To imagine a person is to associate smells, colors, ways of moving, of speaking, a style of dress and above all, centers of interest and a personality... Without knowing it, you free yourself from external beauty. to focus on something deeper, and arguably truer. It will be the same for the person with whom you become acquainted.

We sometimes also tend to take less tweezers with someone who has physically attracted us from the start, because the disappointment is often greater. It is also for this reason that these blind date-like applications develop a more human angle and philosophy. Moreover, a greater diversity of individuals feel entitled to use them. In addition to the total free of some of these sites, there is no age limit. Finally, all sexual orientations are represented.

Reliable and safe dating sites

On these apps, you will usually be asked for a physical description which will generate an automatic avatar (graphical representation). You will be able to get a little idea of ​​the physique of your interlocutor. In order for users to play the game, photos are not allowed on these sites but if the current goes through, you can exchange photos on other applications like Snapchat, or by MMS. A certain confidence will have settled and you will feel more at ease.

You will therefore have to learn how to properly highlight your profile without photos, because the image will no longer be the basis of your future meetings, and it is not necessarily easy to break away from it! But this challenge can be exhilarating.

In addition, to build user confidence, these mystery dating sites are committed to developing increased surveillance and vigilance to verify profiles and avoid bad encounters. The guarantee of 100% real profiles is therefore assured, which is far from being the case with all dating applications where fake accounts (dummy) blend in with agility.

The strength of these encounters also lies in their potential evolution. As you do not directly know the physique of your interlocutor, even if there is an avatar, you cannot get a real idea of ​​his physical appearance. In general, even if the avatar has physical characteristics that attract you, the “real” physicality of the user with whom you are interacting will not necessarily seduce you the first time.

In this case, there are several possibilities. If you have become attached to the person with whom you are talking, you will decide to continue to exchange with him even if his physique does not completely appeal to you. This criterion will perhaps no longer really matter because the agreement being very good, you will want to continue to get to know him. If this person does not become your lover as you initially hoped, they can also very well become a friend. And if you decide not to continue the exchange, everyone will go their own way, without animosity since you were both prepared for this eventuality from the start. As finally on all dating sites…

More “slow” and deeper encounters

The successive confinements that France has experienced have profoundly changed the way in which meetings are held. No more bars, clubs, nightclubs and spontaneous meetings outside. Wearing a mask has also reinforced this distance and, in a way, contributes to the development of these new encounters, where we get to know each other without really being able to see each other.

But contrary to what one might imagine, this situation has not only had negative effects. These meetings at a distance, without contact, have made followers, happy and happy that time has slowed down and that we are now obliged to really know each other before having to be able to meet physically.

If the health crisis has highlighted this situation, a whole section of the population did not find themselves in fast virtual meetings, where only appearance counted. It's the revenge of shy people, introverts, and all those who imagine their love life differently.

The real revelation is that everyone now has a choice: there are sites and applications for quick and ephemeral meetings, sites by affinity, community sites, there are even some for meetings related to social status … and now, there are sites to know each other without seeing each other, at least not in the immediate future!

A virtual meeting, it talks

Starting a virtual relationship is one thing, keeping it alive and maintaining it is another, especially when the personality of each person is central to the exchanges. So what to do? Who should raise the other and how often? And of course the famous question: should we send each other photos? If yes, what kind? Finally, when and how to meet?

Rest assured, if you have followed our advice so far, there is a very simple way to act in the best possible way: you have to ask, communicate, and then accept the risk of any relationship: sometimes we commit clumsiness, but it's not very serious and the other can completely understand it.

Also, make no mistake what non-image-based dating can mean. Words can often be a lot hotter and more suggestive than some photos, and you're not offered to settle for a platonic relationship either. On the contrary, a partner you know better will know what you like and vice versa, and the relationship will end up being more intense.

The art of seduction 2.0

Whatever happens, it is likely that you will approach these possibilities much more calmly than on a classic dating application. Without really paying attention to it more than that at the start, you will realize that the pressure of appearance blocks the spontaneity of the exchanges a lot, quite simply because when we see, we instinctively seek to obtain.

Even though today's society is very image-centric, new trends, such as mystery dating apps, are trying to turn things around. And this in particular to fight against cyber harassment and photo theft. This “against the tide” novelty is also a way of bringing up to date epistolary relationships in the proper sense of the term, and it adds a little touch of romanticism to virtual relationships, which are sometimes sorely lacking!

Don't worry, you won't return to the endless exchanges of letters of the 19th century, but the idea is there: take your time, reveal yourself and discover the other through words. Unlike Instagram and its always licked images, another world exists!

This new way of meeting will surely teach you a lot about yourself. You will analyze your ability to free yourself from the dictates of beauty and appearance. It can also make you regain confidence in yourself and your ability to seduce by speaking or rather writing, because that is what will work in your favor, before your charming smile.

And even if at first glance the steps seem longer and more difficult, it is because the result should logically be of better quality, on the condition, no doubt, of looking for a serious relationship, where your personality and your human qualities will take precedence over your appearance.

Come and try the experience, you won't be disappointed! And even if you don't find true love, maybe you'll make new friends with whom to enjoy an aperitif on the terrace!

Share :