Being parents of twins: what does it change?

There have never been so many births of twins in the world. In France, in 2019, 1.6% of births were twins. If the twins are more and more numerous, they continue to feed fantasies. The bond that unites the two babies from pregnancy fascinates. After birth, parents try to maintain this special bond as much as possible.

When they grow up, some parents choose to buy them the same toys and dress them in the same clothes. Others insist, on the contrary, that they are not in the same class. How do I know if this is the right choice? Should we cultivate their innate resemblance or preserve their individuality?

To talk about it, Frédérique Le Teurnier receives Fabrice Bak, doctor in psychology and gemellologist. He is also the author of the book Jumeaux at Solar Editions.

An essential twin fusion, but which should not last too long

Twins have the particularity of coming into the world with a life companion immediately. Until their two years, the two babies will be in a stage of twin fusion which is essential to them. For parents, it is natural, because it allows them to meet their needs at the same time: changing the diaper, giving the bottle, putting them to bed.

This period should not last longer, otherwise it will become problematic and prevent them from living without each other. On the other hand, if this fusion is neglected, the differentiation between the two twins can become too great and risks opposing them.

From 3 to 6 years old, twins go through the period of complementarity. They will develop characteristics of their own. They will allow them to build their individuality. The risk is to see comparisons appear between the two twins on the part of parents or teachers. They are to be avoided, because they harm the bond between the two children.