Paternity leave: how to choose from the three options?
Par Clémentine ThineyPublié le PartagerEnvoyer par e-mail
28 days to welcome baby
Since July 5, 2021, paternity leave is now 28 days.Among them, seven are compulsory: three days of birth leave, followed by four calendar days of paternity leave.The following 21 days are to be distributed as you wish.It is therefore possible to split them.It is also possible not to take them.Whatever your decision, you must inform your employer one month upstream.But how can we be sure to make the right choice, and know what is best for you?Three dads agreed to testify.They give you their experiences, and explain the reasons for this choice.
Take your paternity leave at the same time as the mother
Congratulations, you are dad! To take advantage of your family's end, you decided to take 28 days off in a row, just after birth. This will allow you to be constantly present alongside your baby during the first month of his life. By choosing this option, you will share these moments with your partner, who will be on maternity leave. In this way, you can more easily distribute the different tasks, as well as the mental load. Because this first month may be trying! Being alongside the mother during this period also reduces the risk of postpartum depression, which would affect 10 to 15 % of women. In addition, baby is not delivered with an instructions booklet. Changing the diapers, preparing the bottle, giving the bath is not innate. You will therefore be able to support yourself during the first month of life of your infant, who is certainly small, but who takes up all the space! Even if it is your second child, it remains a upheaval, for which you can appreciate being alongside your small family, as was the case for Wilfried.
Vidéo du jour :In July 2021, Wilfried and Pauline became parents for the second time. The dad was very happy to be able to spend 28 days alongside his partner and two daughters: “Following the birth of my second daughter on July 17, 2021, I made the decision to take paternity leave in its entirety , 28 days. It was very appreciable, since for the first, I only had 11 days. My wife had a cesarean, so she had to stay for five days in maternity. Therefore, I was able to enjoy my first child at home only six days. I admit that at that time, the 28 days would have been very appreciable ... For this second birth, these additional days were therefore welcome. At first, if only to enjoy my daughter. Then we were able to organize better on the return home, and take turns for the feedings (me the first parts of the night, and my companion the seconds, so that we sleep in turn). In addition, we were able to accompany our elder in the arrival of his little sister. The mother has an important role, but the father too. It is not when we work that we take advantage of our children. Time passes too quickly. Not to mention that this could allow my partner to rest after childbirth. And managing a newborn baby is much simpler! ”.
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Option number 2: Take your paternity leave in fractional.The compulsory seven days still remain to be taken at the time of birth.For the following twenty -one days, you are free to distribute them as you see fit!Note all the same that you must take periods of minimum five days, and up to six months after the birth of baby.Taking a paternity leave in a fractional way also presents its advantages.Indeed, you can decide to take it after the mother's maternity leave.In this way, you will spend time alone with your toddler.This perspective can certainly be a little scary, because you will be the only master on board!Nevertheless, this privileged time will allow you to forge very strong links with baby.
Tristan Champion is the author of the book “The beard and the bottle”. In 2014, during the birth of his son, he only benefited from 11 days of paternity leave. For the birth of his daughter, it was very different, since it was in Norway. In the Nordic country, the rules are different: a ten -month parental leave is to be distributed within the couple, with total compensation in terms of salary. Tristan then spent six months alone with his daughter, since there, the holidays are alternated. If initially this perspective frightened him a little, he wishes everyone to live this experience today: “There are a lot of benefits. I took care of my daughter, alone. I was really a pilot of education. The point that really impacted my couple is that I was alone in taking care of her while my wife was at work. By finding myself on my own, I had my own agenda. I had to take care of my daughter, my son, the house ... and even if I did a lot of things before, it was always under his direction! I had all the absorption of the mental load, which was not easy, especially at the beginning. It is not easy to find your marks, your rhythm ... Everyone knows how to give a bottle, make a stroller stroll, give a compote ... But having the equipment at the right time is something else! The water at the right temperature for the bottle, the pacifier ... After a month and a half I felt comfortable. Louise, my wife, also let go. At the beginning, she put post-it every day, and wrote to me messages, but after two weeks she stopped. One of the great problems of the lack of involvement of men in the couple, is that the Mother may tend not to let the father make her mistakes. Lots of fathers say "she's going to do it behind" and it suits them. This leave brought me closer to my two children. Little anecdote: when my daughter was hurting herself and she was crying, she spontaneously headed for me and not towards her mother, which had never happened with my son. These six months alone at home also brought me closer to my son, because I was going to pick him up from school, we did a lot of games together. In my opinion, doing a month alone is more powerful than doing three months to two. I really invite you to wonder if you shouldn't take your 21 days after the mother's maternity leave. "
I would not take my paternity leave
Finally, the third scenario: you decide not to take the authorized twenty-eight days.Nevertheless, it must come from you and not from your employer, who cannot refuse you this right.Some young dads decide not to assert it for several reasons.At first, the financial aspect can come into play. Indeed, if you are in freelance, the allowances will not necessarily be sufficient.To get an idea of the amount, it is possible to make online simulations.Sometimes it is not necessarily possible to leave your post for a month.Other fathers experience fears in the face of the prospect of ending up alone with their children, or are afraid to get bored.Anyway, apart from the week following birth, taking paternity leave remains in law, and not a duty.This does not mean that the father is not involved.
Stéphanie's husband, father of three, has chosen not to benefit from this right.However, he remains very involved, and does his maximum to help his wife: “My husband did not take his leave because clearly we could not live with his salary less.He is commercial, and he is paid to the Commission so if he does not work, he has no salary.In addition, he is the only seller of his box so impossible to replace.I stopped work to keep my children.He stayed with me the time of maternity, with arrangement with his boss (which is his cousin), without a deduction of salary.I did very well for my three children.My husband does everything he can when I got home from work.He even got up for difficult nights. ”
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