"It never prevented me from sleeping": living with a labial or genital herpes, what does that?
Aurélie, Mathieu and Laura have been living all three with herpes for several years.For Neon, they tell how they contracted the virus, and learned to live with.
PublicitéToo often, the herpes virus is associated with a """"""""shameful"""""""" and """"""""dirty"""""""" disease.This is to forget how common the infection is: according to WHO, 3.7 billion people under 50 - or half of the world's population - are infected with type 1 virus, responsible for'genital herpes.For their part, 417 million people aged between 15 and 49 are affected by type 2 virus, transmitted by sexual and originating genital herpes.
Having herpes is therefore much more common than you think, but the virus remains paradoxically very little known around the world.And it is precisely this ignorance around the disease that maintains stereotypes and stigmatizes people carrying the virus.To put an end to it and release the floor, Mathieu, Laura and Aurélie, who have all been living with the virus for several years, have agreed to tell their experience.
Mathieu, 24, caught a genital herpes in New Zealand
""""""""I was in New Zealand, about 5 years ago, when I felt discomfort in the urethra for the first time.I did not immediately think of herpes, because there were no visible rashes.Just a burning sensation when I was or during ejaculation.I spent a little fortune from the doctor to find an explanation for my problem - I had a treatment for chlamydia infection, another to treat yeast infections, but nothing worked.
When I got back to France, I did a complete blood test, and that's how I knew that I was the bearer of the HSV-2 virus, head of the genital herpes.At that time, I knew nothing about the disease, I didn't even know if it was my girlfriend at the time who had passed it on me or a girl met during my trip.I just remember having freaked up when the doctor explained to me that I will have to live with all my life.
I did not have sex for a year after my diagnosis - not by shame, but because the opportunity did not arise.But the more the months passed, the more I stressed thoroughly thinking at this fateful moment.How to announce the thing without causing panic or disgust in the eyes of my future partners?
It must be said that there is real ignorance around the disease.When we talk about it, it is often through degrading jokes;We imagine that the person carrying herpes is necessarily """"""""dirty"""""""", that we can contract the disease anytime and anyway - while in reality, there is a risk of infection only during aherpes push.Inevitably, this whole stigma does not help to assume his illness.
Suddenly, 5 years later, I always have a lot of trouble talking about it to my close entourage.There are just three or four friends who are aware.It surprises me a little because I have never been the type to be ashamed of anything.I never take myself seriously, I speak openly about my weaknesses, even the most intimate!But that blocks.
The only people who are talking about it systematically, obviously, they are my sexual partners.And curiously, it is in intimacy that I most assume my condition.I thought it would be a brake in my sexuality, when in fact not at all, it never prevented me from sleeping (laughs).
I remember the first time that I announced it to a girl, a year after contracting the virus.We were heating up, it was cool, and then I took my courage in both hands to tell her.I'm not going to hide that I was stressed, and that it threw a cold at first.We did nothing the same evening, but we saw each other the next day, we slept together and it went very well.
Over time, I learned to play down the situation.I try to bring things with humor and as much relaxation as possible.I take the time to explain things well, to answer all the questions that are asked to me, I show that I take all the necessary precautions: compulsory hood, no blowjob without condom during a crisis, etc..And frankly, no girl has never gone to date.
Today, it's been a year since I am in a relationship.We protect ourselves with my girlfriend when there is a herpes push, but apart from that, our sexuality is completely normal.Proof that you can be fulfilled in his intimate and love life even with an STI!And if one day I manage to assume my herpes with my circle of friends, then I will have won everything.""""""""
Sur le même sujet ⋙ Votre herpès peut se transformer en maladie dégénérative, mais cette protéine vous protège⋙ """"""""Les discriminations sont un terreau fertile pour l'épidémie"""""""" de VIH-SIDA : la nouvelle campagne d'Aides veut casser les clichés
Laura, 27, lives with a Labial herpes since childhood
""""""""I have the impression that herpes has always been part of my life.From primary school, the pushes were very frequent: I had regularly a large closet on the lip, which I was terribly ashamed.Some students laughed, others assumed me questions.Me, I just wanted to hide myself.
In adolescence, thrusts have become even more frequent.A button appeared almost every month on my mouth, especially during my equestrian contests, because of stress and fatigue, but also during the first suns or seasonal changes.
I was so fed up.For about a year I was quiet, zero button on the horizon!And then everything came back at once ... except that this time it was worse than everything: I ended up with several buttons at the same time, scattered over my mouth.Psychologically it was horror.I felt ugly, I no longer had self -confidence.And then it was very painful.
Luckily, things were calmed down by getting older.My thrusts have become much more spaced and less impressive.I also learned to take a step back on my situation.I try to repeat myself that even if, for me, my buttons are awful, the others don't care.
But there are always moments when it is difficult to live, obviously.I believe that the worst is the emotional and emotional frustration that it generates in me.When I have a push, I have to be very careful with all my movements so as not to transmit the virus.It involves not kissing my spouse, avoiding embraces and sexual intercourse.While this is precisely the moment when I need to be hug and kissed, because my morale is at the bottom ...
Fortunately, there are lots of little things that help me keep when I'm in crisis.Since the covid for example, I can hide my fever pimples under a mask, which is really practical!I can also count on the support of my entourage, exchange with people in the same situation as me.I remember a colleague of work who damn a lot of morale, one day when I was not going well.She repeated to me that I was not responsible for my herpes, that I took all the precautions that I needed and especially that I was not an isolated case.It freed me from a weight.
Another thing that helps me feel less alone is to watch Koh-Lanta (laughs).It may be stupid, but in each season there is a candidate who ends up having a herpes, because of the intense conditions of the program.Pushes generally arrive during big confrontations, and I always spot them!It trivializes the disease a little, to see it on the TV station.In any case me it allows me to put into perspective a little.""""""""
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Aurélie, 35, contracted genital herpes with her companion
""""""""I got to know my partner on a dating site, just over two years ago.At the time, he still lived in Guyana.After exchanging online for several months, I decided to fly to find it.When we saw each other in flesh and bone for the very first time, we immediately knew on it!I remember that that day, he had a very small button on the lip.It was so small that I did not ask myself any questions.
For three days, I felt like I was living a waking dream.And then I started to feel bad.Big fatigue, fever, genitals.On the plane to return to mainland France, my condition has won over.I couldn't even go to the toilet because of the pain.It was like having a urinary tract infection, but in a thousand times worse.
Once in France, I went to the doctor in disaster.I had 41 fever.The consultation went very badly.I explained my situation to the doctor, specifying that I came back from Guyana where I had found the man with whom I was exchanging online, that we had made love and that I had felt pain a few days later.He stared at me with a lot of judgment, which made me very uncomfortable. Au bout d'un moment, il a fini par dire, en soufflant presque : """"""""Bon bah, vous voulez que je regarde ?"""""""" Je n'ai pas accepté et je suis partie.
In the evening I took a carpool to spend a few days with my parents.When my father came to collect me and he saw the state in which I was, he immediately led me to the hospital.A gynecologist examined me and the verdict fell: I suffered from a genital herpes, which I had contracted because of my boyfriend's fever button, which had made me cunnilingus.
The first thing I thought of is that herpes' pushes were going to reactivate often. Je me suis dit : """"""""Toute ma vie maintenant c'est ça, je vais devoir vivre avec ce truc pour toujours.""""""""Result, two years later, the virus has already reactivated three times.
Luckily, my crises are less painful than the first.But they are accompanied by big fatigue and a permanent fear of passing the virus.
In my everyday life, I don't care so much.I only think about it when I have a push.But I cannot yet fully assume the fact of having a herpes.My parents are not aware, for example.I just talked to a few close friends.
Unconsciously, I think I'm afraid that I am judged.That you think I'm dirty or that I have dubious sexual practices.It is really this look at judgment that scares me, the same as the doctor had when I explained my situation to him.
Today I would say that what helps me to hold is being in a relationship with the same person since I had the virus.If I had been single with multiple partners, I would have been forced to warn them each time.And I think it would really have complicated my existence.""""""""
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