Bedwetting or nocturnal enuresis in children | PARENTS.fr
At 5 years old, your toddler still wets his sheets? Rest assured, nocturnal accidents disappear on their own in the majority of cases… Definition, causes, treatments of enuresis. We tell you everything.
Tired of being woken up every night by a wet little cabbage? A little patience, all the children end up being clean… but each at their own pace! If some do without diapers day and night from the age of 3, others will not cross the threshold of cleanliness until the age of 4 or 5 years.
What is nocturnal enuresis (wetting the bed)?
What is nocturnal enuresis? The so-called nocturnal enuresis (or "wetting the bed") refers to a condition characterized by the occurrence during sleep of involuntary and unconscious urination in children over five years of age.
What are the physiological causes of bedwetting?
At 3 years old, the bladder is often too small to contain a whole night's pee. However, he does not always have the necessary neurological maturity to react when he is sleeping deeply. This is why small nocturnal accidents occur. Over time, the bladder muscles become more mature and the child manages to control himself. If the months pass without any improvement, the pediatrician will verify that it is not a medical problem.
What are the psychological causes of bedwetting (enuresis)?
Otherwise, the psychological causes can be multiple: he still feels like a baby, is a little afraid of growing up. During the day, he makes efforts to progress in all areas and at night, he relaxes: this is normal. Bedwetting can also be his way of waking up to escape a nightmare or to get his mother to leave the marital bed (Oedipus requires). Repeated accidents, especially after a period of "dry" nights, can be the signal that something is disturbing him: arrival of a little brother, moving house, arguments between parents, problems at school...
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Enuresis, a common disorder
Cleanliness comes naturally, but, unfortunately for parents, it is impossible to know when! At 5 years old, about 10% of toddlers still wet the bed. This disorder, called enuresis, pursues a small number of them into adolescence. Fortunately, there are solutions to get rid of them.
What are the psychological consequences of bedwetting?
The psychological consequences of bedwetting can be significant when it causes emotional injury and moral distress in the child who suffers from it. Enuresis is all the more difficult to live with, because of the anxiety and discomfort it causes.
Wetting the bed: reassure him!
Of course, you would like your little one to stop wetting the bed quickly. But be aware that if you want to urge him to pass the course of cleanliness, you risk tensing him up and obtaining the opposite effect. One key word: patience! Is it slow to get clean? Avoid dramatizing. Nearly 42% of children who still wet the bed in old age are ashamed of it and 31% want to keep these little "worries" a secret. Useless, therefore, to add a layer by scolding him… Remember: enuresis is an involuntary, unconscious and uncontrolled disorder.
Bedwetting: how to fix it?
What treatment for bedwetting? First :
- Reassure him by explaining that he has nothing to do with it and that, soon, his bladder will be strong enough to hold his pee all night;- Protect him from teasing, especially from his brothers and sisters;- Encourage him to put his own sheets and pajamas in the dirty when he gets them wet, to empower him;- Encourage him to accept invitations to sleep over with his friends or cousins. Slip a discreet nighttime underwear into his bag to give him confidence.
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The right reflexes against nocturnal enuresis
- Encourage your child to go to the toilet as soon as the urge arises during the day; - Teach him to take his time in the toilet, in other words, without pushing and until the last drop! - Encourage him to drink enough during the day, to avoid excessive drinking in the evening;- Avoid giving him sugary drinks or sodas after 5 p.m.: they can irritate the bladder and promote bedwetting;- Force him to go to the toilet before going to bed; - Check that he can reach the toilet safely at night.
Bedwetting: when should you consult?
The child masters the nocturnal cleanliness around 3-4 years. Until the age of 7, he may experience "accidents", occasional bedwetting which is not alarming. We only speak of enuresis from the age of 5, when the child wets the bed several times a week.
Enuresis: who to consult?
It is then necessary to consult the pediatrician or the family doctor, who will establish a diagnosis (the physiological causes are not excluded) and will direct the child if necessary to another specialist (child psychiatrist or psychologist). In some cases, for children over 6 years old, he may prescribe medical treatment. They are not necessarily effective and sometimes have side effects.
Bedwetting: a session with the psychologist
“We help him free himself from his fears, explains Anne-Laure Benattar, psychocorporal therapist (*). Because bedwetting can be linked to a mechanical or physiological problem, but also a psychological one. The arrival of a little brother or a little sister, a move, tensions at home, or any other situation giving the child a feeling of insecurity can generate a bodily reaction such as bedwetting, sometimes accompanied of a form of regression.”
Enuérie: Practical case of the process of a consultation with Anne-Laure Benattar
For 15 minutes, F.'s mother explains the situation: F. is a sensitive little boy, reserved at school, who needs to be reassured in the evening. He has suffered from enuresis since entering primary school, which occurred after a move and the arrival of a little brother.
Then begins the consultation:
AL.B. : Can you explain to me what happens inside you in the evening and during the night?
F.: In the evening, when I go to bed, I put on my diaper, mum gives me a hug, I'm afraid I won't wake up to go to the bathroom. And then it's morning. I wake up all wet again. It is annoying !
A.-LB: Oh yes, I understand! How do you feel about your little brother and your move?
F.: I find that mum takes more care of my little brother and it's really unfair! Besides, I don't feel well in this house… I'm afraid to go to the toilet!
A.-LB: I'm going to tell you a story, which I'm also going to record for you. You can listen to it at night before going to sleep, it will help you feel better: “It's the story of a gardener who really loves his garden. He takes good care of his plants and occasionally adds new plants to spruce up his garden. He has a plant that he loves very much and that needs special attention. So he waters her a little in the morning and a little in the evening, speaking kindly to her. Then he closes the pipe very firmly so that it stays closed all night long. And in the morning, he opens the hose again to water his plants, then carefully closes it. He pays attention to each of his plants, so that they flourish and receive all the necessary attention in an equitable manner. Sometimes new plants need a little more attention, and the gardener reassures his particular plant of his affection. So the garden is beautiful, each plant flourishes wonderfully and the watering system is fully functional! »
F.: I really like your story, especially when the gardener takes good care of his special plant and is very careful about watering it!
A.-LB: I'm glad you like the story! You can also activate your magic star which will give you the signal to go to the bathroom at night if necessary. Where is this star located?
F.: In my belly I think. Should I press it?
A.-LB: Each star is activated differently, let's see how yours is activated… By doing a little massage? Or light pressure? Or by turning the key that strengthens its power! Now you are ready to grow and regain your power!
Decryption of the session
The magic story can be read every evening, bringing to the unconscious elements reassuring the child on his place and the attention he needs, as well as on the mechanical aspect and his ability to manage his body. The activation of the stars is a form of anchoring in NLP, giving the child back his power, because the stars are inside him. It is important to play down, trust your child and trust yourself to get through this. And above all reassure your child about his ability to grow and be able to wake up at the right time.
Little tip: Bach flowers
To allow the child to overcome his fears, to believe in his capacity and to take back his responsibility, to release this mechanism and to arrive at a new functioning, I suggest a mixture based on Mimulus / Willow / Crab Apple / Walnut / Larch – check with the pharmacist or the Bach Flower consultant.
(*) Anne-Laure Benattar welcomes children, adolescents and adults to her practice L'Espace Thérapie Zen. www.therapie-zen.fr
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