All the difficulties that I did not know about breastfeeding did not discourage me

At the time of my parents (and especially grandparents), the question of breastfeeding hardly arose, the recent emancipation of women and the medical staff directed patients towards the bottle without even asking them the question. Today the trend has reversed, and even if the bottle is still relevant, we must admit that we are still encouraged to breastfeed our children. For me, it was obvious but there are some things I wish I had known before having this experience.

During my childbirth preparation classes for my first pregnancy, they explained to me the benefits of breastfeeding, they described to me the possible positions for suckling, and also the "little inconveniences" such as the clogging or cracks. But at no time was I prepared for the fact that giving the breast is far from being innate! I thought that nature was wonderfully done and that my child would come naturally to suckle and breastfeeding would happen naturally. If you are one of those moms, congratulations. But the rest of my article may not interest you.

Sometimes confusing beginnings

At birth, your baby may not be placed on you and placed skin to skin right away (my case for Wendy, my daughter), result, no welcome feeding, and the fact of breastfeeding for a few hours later can make things more complicated (obviously it's not systematic, I'm talking about my experience). Wendy slept a lot and didn't want to drink. I was distraught to see my so little baby just born not feeding, the desire to give a bottle was not lacking. But after 24 hours, with a lot of help from the medical staff, she ended up pulling a little on her breasts. Finally... on ONE breast, I'll spare you the details of a unilateral let-up... (I didn't know it was possible), Mademoiselle only wanted to drink from one side. I assure you, it quickly got back to normal.

For Lewis (my son) it's the opposite, as soon as he came out, he started suckling, except that I gave birth at 6:38 am on a Monday and my milk flow only appeared on the Thursday, and in spite of the colostrum, he seemed to be starving and nursed constantly day and night. For once, the medical staff offered me to supplement with a bottle and I refused (but if it had been my first baby, I think I would have cracked).

Breastfeeding hurts

I was told during my pregnancy that breastfeeding ONLY hurts if the baby is in the wrong position. FALSE and archi FALSE, I spoke about it with many mothers, THE FIRST DAYS it hurt, to the point that I happened to breastfeed while crying. For Wendy it lasted 5 days, after that the nipple gets used to it and becomes almost insensitive. For Lewis it's different, I had pain for weeks, he had the tongue tie too short and he suckled very badly. I assure you, there are effective creams and the rest is gentle.

Breastfeeding is convenient, but not always

No need for bottles, milk powder and water in the diaper bag. We have milk everywhere at the right temperature and for free. The downside is that if you choose breastfeeding on demand like me, you have to be ready to take the breast anywhere, anytime (and therefore have the right outfit). I have breastfed in my car, at Ikea, in restaurants, in a fitting room, in the toilets, at church and even during funerals... In the category of inconveniences related to breastfeeding, I do not don't talk to you about squirts of milk, nights with a bra, breast pads or the halo of milk that crosses the T-shirt... And also mustard yellow poop that overflows from the diaper once on. three...

When we breastfeed, we spend a lot of time on the Internet.

Especially on the Leache league website.

Do I have enough milk? Is it nutritious enough? (obviously yes!) what is the normal frequency? When will he sleep? Do I have a REF? Why are my baby's stools green? My baby poops every 8 days should I be worried? In short, a billion questions that we ask ourselves.

Rather than going on the internet where you can easily get lost in the flood of information, I advise you to see a lactation consultant, or a midwife who can see your feeds live and give you personalized advice. (in addition it is refunded).

Food constraints are not over

With breastfeeding, babies generally have less colic. Personally, my two babies have never had one. On the other hand Lewis is hypersensitive of the intestines (like most guys right?!), if I have the misfortune to eat too many dairy products, raw vegetables or worse broccoli or beans, you can be sure that he will squirm for hours... (polite way of saying he won't stop farting!). And then we don't forget the glass of white wine with the girlfriends, not a big deal you might say, but still a little frustrating after 9 months of doing Sam...

"It's pregnancy that damages the breasts, not breastfeeding"

Yeah... I'm not at all convinced by this theory. Your breasts spend their time inflating and deflating, so inevitably that has an impact on the elasticity of the skin. For Wendy I was desperate, having breastfed for 3 and a half months, it was only after a year that I recovered a shadow of my breasts... Sensation point of view with the darling? Non-existent... At least for a while.

During my second pregnancy I rediscovered the joys of having breasts (thank you hormones!). We will see a few months after the end of breastfeeding, but to have talked about it with many mothers, the chest never returns as before. And it's worse for the little ones than for the big ones (I know it's disgusting...)

Weaning can be difficult

The biggest downside in my opinion. I suffered terribly from having to stop breastfeeding to return to work, I tried to express my milk (another thing we could talk about...) but with 10 hour days at work, it was impossible and then Wendy just didn't want the bottle. We spent a fortune on all possible powdered milks and bottles. The days before the recovery, we tried everything, me, dad, aunt, grandma. We had to give her pots very quickly and she ended up taking the bottle but never with as much appetite as at the breast. In short, we don't prepare parents enough for the fact that weaning isn't easy and it's scary.

Pressure on the shoulders

A mother who feeds her baby is responsible for his health, for his weight gain. It's true, but there are obviously other factors to take into account, such as GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease, editor's note) for example. Nevertheless, for those around you, the person responsible for these problems is often you. And even pediatricians have their say.

If you have a wonderful doctor like me who encourages you to persevere, one piece of advice, keep it! On the other hand, some mothers have heard very hurtful words questioning their ability to feed their baby. Most often due to insufficient weight gain. Some end up giving up breastfeeding. Before you get to that, get a second opinion.

Another form of pressure comes from the "advice" that you are given, there is good advice and then there are those who manage to make you doubt. My own mother, who is the first person I call for advice, managed to make me doubt my breastfeeding. Difficult to hear "he's still nursing? he hasn't eaten for a long time.", "he still isn't sleeping? you should give him a bottle."

Be careful, you may even think that you are selfish because no one can feed this child except you. It starts with a good feeling but your instinct takes a hit...

The last form of pressure is still just as difficult for me to understand. The judgment of people in public places. In addition to the sometimes hurtful looks, I happened to hear violent words: "She can't do that somewhere else?"; "It's provocation." "What image does it give to our children???" No, but do you understand something about it? I risk shocking a child! On the other hand, smoking on the terrace with his girlfriend and leaving his brat in front of a tablet for two hours is acceptable. The worst part of all this is that my husband becomes embarrassed, for him, for example, it's not appropriate to breastfeed in a restaurant while people are eating (I should point out that I always hide with a scarf). Don't worry about all that, just listen to yourself and your instincts.

So, to conclude, breastfeeding means giving a lot of time and sacrificing your body a little. I certainly give you the image of a mother disgusted and jaded by breastfeeding and yet, quite the contrary. For me, it's a magical feeling, a unique bond that extends being one with your baby. It's a moment of exchanging looks, of caresses... Seeing your baby asleep in your arms with a drop of milk running down her cheek is so gratifying.

With a second one, it's much simpler and more natural, I think you feel more confident and the baby feels it. I can even tell you that my favorite feeding is that of the night, just the two of us in absolute calm.

Whatever choice you make, it will be the right one. Don't breastfeed just because it's good for them. Do it because you want to. Better a baby bottle-fed with love than a baby reluctantly breastfed. And then many moms only breastfeed for a few days or a few weeks, and that's already great!

Do not hesitate to share with me your experiences or to ask me questions, I will answer with pleasure.

See also on The HuffPost: